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Tuesday, 1 February 2022

THE MAASAI NINJA (Episode 4)

THE MAASAI NINJA 
(Episode 4)
I spent the rest of the day regretting my mistakes, I felt offended, I felt angry and ready to fight, but deep down, I felt kinda afraid. The awaiting word war had two outcomes. Either I gain my respect for the rest of my primary school life or loose it forever. But this is usually what happens to every staring before winning. Loosing confidence but it's just a temporary challange that will soon end. So I begun meditating in preparation for the big fight. 
I couldn't even hear what my Swahili teacher was saying. I just sat there absent mindedly breathing loudly hoping to gain some internal powers. "I will prevail, I will conquer, Am a worrior, A fighter, the Maasai Ninja" I encouraged myself silently. Eish by the time I got back to my senses, it was already afternoon, Two minutes to the final bell . People were already packing. I could hear them chanting, "Masaa yamefika! Leo kijana atanyolewa bila maji! Weeh bytha anajuaga vita nivile amenyamaza simngoje muone! Woiih wap huyu vita anajua nizile za kiroho tu. Atatandikwa kama kitanda" I slowly closed my bag pretending not to hear what they were saying. I encouraged myself with a quote I read on some philosophy book that I cat remember. "never quarrel with fools, people won't notice the difference " 
Bell iligongwa hata sikuskia. I said a word of prayer before walking out of the class with a new energy. " It's just a one minute exercise," I told myself, "nikufika, pap pap..napea mtoto wa mtu adhabu, pap najitoa kama Jacky chan ." Haiyaheh hata uwanja ishatengenezwa. Na mwanzangu akajipanga. Ametoa Shati akabaki na kavest sijui ni kabrwon ama ni white ni vumbi imekarembesha. The entire school sorounding the arena, Shouting "chapa! Chapa! " Kwani iko Nini, Nikatoa bag nikaitupa, I guess iliangukia kwa compound ya shule ingine. Toa sweta tupa, Alafu nikapiga kale kaenergizer ka maboxer. Unaruka juu unatupia hewa ngumi kama ninety . Eeeeh. Nayo umati ikakubali. Nduru nazo. 
Kama ulikuwa present those days, you understand the procedure. Line ikachorwa, Jamaa akaeka mawe kwa mkono. "Angusha Mali ya babangu" he shouted at me. I can't disappoint this entire crowd which is now shouting my name design ya Boyka kwa undisputed. I gained my posture and pap, nikagonga mkono yake na madharau.
Let's just pause there for a minute. Kuna kitu hamkua mmeniambia hii time yote. Yes nilikuwa nimekula training safi but sikuwa nimefanya practice. I also forgot to mention that huyu msee nikama alikuwa kwa practice team ya Conjestina. Ile ngumi nilidundwa ya uso, Niliona nikama dunia inaenda slow motion. Kwa maskio naskia tu ndiiiiiiiiii! Nikama Kuna kainzi kamekatalia ndani. I only remember shouting " sitaki chako, Hujanipea nafasi yakurudi nyuma. "
I found myself at home the next day, My face aching kama nimelipuliwa G3 ya mashavu.I don't really remember what happened during the fight, But kama mimi ndo najua vita na Niko hivi.. na yeye je ? . Masali zaidi zije inbox tafazali
#leteipatheking #leteiped #leteiping #teipa #teipatheking #teipastales #teipaslomon #teipassingolio #teipassongs #teipaslyrics #vampk254music #vampk254 #vampk #lyricklyelevated #maasaininja #themaasaininja

Wednesday, 12 January 2022

THE MAASAI NINJA (Episode 3)

THE MAASAI NINJA
(Episode 3)
I stared at the ugly, confused and illiterate element standing Infront of me. My heart pounding so loudly that you could see my shirt moving up and down. Deep down, I was praying and wishing aombe msamaha ama atoke mbio atleast aniokoe from hii maaibu, actually my crush was staring at me directly. And making it worst wasee walikuwa washatuzunguka, a big crowd of pupils most of them already whispering and murmuring. Trust me I could hear their thoughts by just staring at them. "Kujeni muone ng'ombe ya class five inatishiwa na kanyoka ka class three." "Hakuna kitu anaeza fanya huyu, kwanza ngojeni muone Ile kunyoroshwa atanyoroshwa hapa" 
Now I want you to understand that the excitement I had was kinda diminishing. Sio ati sikuwa najua vita, Nooh actually Jana tu usiku Nimekuwa training na Jacky mwenyewe. But kaumasai ndani yangu kalikuwa kananiskuma niombe msamaha mbio mbio. But then I would end up being rediculed by the entire school Hadi tufunge shule. In my mind, Ni maswali tu zinaflow kama Thao. 
What if hiyo training yote ya Jana usiku ilikuwa ndoto nijishashe hapa alafu nidundwe mbele ya halaiki? But noooh, aiih hata huyu amekuja Sana, yaani siku nimeiva vita ndo ananijaribu ? Kwani iko Nini huyu ameingiza mkono kwa Mzinga ya nyuki akiwa ndethe, Ntamuadhibu hadharani mbele ya umati ndo iwe funzo kwake na wengine wengi wenye tabia kama zake. 
I cleared my mind, Dropped my cup, Nikakunja sweta pap, nikatoa bonge la style Hadi umati ikasonga nyuma. Am not really sure where I got that move but probably ilikuwa combination ya choir master na moves za scout wakipandisha flag. Sijui kama unaonaga vile mastaring wa movie za shina wanafanyaga mazoezi. Kitu kama hiyo. Eish hadi nilikuwa natoa sauti ya paka kama Bruce Lee. So hii yote kumbuka vita haijaanza, Ni matishio tu ndo hii ngurumende ijue inamess na nani. Inaitwa Introduction. Ningekuwa yeye ningetoka mbio juu aiih weeh hizi ni zile ngumi za tv zinapangwa. " Khaiii!! Kwani Kevoh anajuaga karate " I heard my crush asking her friend. Woiiiih Leo si ni Leo Hadi crush amekubali na hata sijaanza kuvurumisha zile teke za Vandame .Hapa Sasa nikutengeneza jina na hii kijana .
I could hear the crowd shouting, "Simpigane, Ama ni dance styles mnaonyeshana hapa. " Nilikuwa tayari nishalaunch ngumi when the teacher on duty appeared out of nowhere. Weeeh hapo hakukuwa na Cha staring na gaidi, kila mtu alitoka mbio, Hadi kikombe yangu nikaacha chini. But God is good my friends. Nilipofika class nikapata kabarua kwa desk yangu kameandikwa . 'YUA HEd IS VERi DIFIKALT, I WIL TICH YU MANAS JIONI NJE YA GATE"
Baaas, Sasa huyu amevuka mipaka ya ushabiki. Kwa gate kwanza Kuna kauanja kazuuri kakupea mtu discipline mpaka aelewe kizungu ...... (To be continued)
#leteipatheking #leteiped #leteiping #teipa #teipatheking #teipastales #teipaslomon #teipassingolio #teipassongs #teipaslyrics #vampk254music #vampk254 #vampk #lyricklyelevated #maasaininja #themaasaininja

Monday, 10 January 2022

THE MAASAI NINJA (Episode 2)

THE MAASAI NINJA 
(Episode2)
https://youtu.be/yiKRtfp8wXc
After the warm breakfast I walked to school, Didn't even need an escort from Mama. Nooh I wanted to walk to school alone and prayed that mtu atanichokoza njiani. Yaani chikichki hwaaaaa... And boom an individual is in the ICU trying to figure out ni aina gani ya Lorry ilimkanyaga... 
So I strolled the entire road like a male chimpanzee marking territory. I met no one, Not even in school. Unfortunately i didn't realize that out of my excitement nilikuwa nimerauka kuliko watu wengine. I had to stay one more hour ndo mwanafunzi wakwanza aingie shuleni. For the first time I had an opportunity to meet the school watchmen. Who does that?? Eish..inaitwa Kungfu ! Hadi nishapata self discipline mapema hii yote.
Stude wa kwanza kukam alikuwa dame chopi. "Aki si anitukane. Ama anichokoze tu nianze kumuonyesha Cha mtema kuni.Bahati mbaya, instead of kunichokoza, she actually reminded me of a science homework which I had no time to do, (As you remember I had more important things to do like empowering myself with the best self defence mechanism, Mode ataelewa lazma, Kwani si hata yeye anajua kujitunza ni muhimu.) But juu I was learning self discipline, I copied her answers as quickly as possible and damn! Leo hata walionidharau siku Moja watanisalimia kwa heshima. Yaani Hadi homework nimefanya. I swear Leo ntachapa Hadi mwalimu. 
Funny enough everything happened positively Hadi second break. No one abused me, no one got to my nerves, actually it was the first time in my life kusurvive bila viboko in six good lessons.But Mungu ninani, Ukiomba wembe, unapewa panga. My prayers were answered. Tulikuwa ndo tumetoka break. Those dayz Break meant serving a cup or porridge. I grabbed my cup and rushed to the kitchen ndo angalau niwahi katoplayer. Was about to recieve my share when a class three student stepped on my toe. "Alaaah! Kijana unakunya polisi ?" I asked him with confidence. Yaani umeona tu njia rahisi ya kukufa ni kugusa nungunungu makwapa" instead of even shutting the hell up, Or running away, or even apologizing the guy decided to taste waters. Ati siufanye kile unaeza fanya ukijam. "Kijana ntakupuchua kama line ya mwisho ya ndore" I shouted trying to attract an audience. "We laiyoni ntakuchapa " he shouted. Khaiii!!! Wapenzi watazamaji. Kama unaskia hujakaa vizuri tafadhali tafuta sitting position. Juu Sasa ........ (To be continued)
#leteipatheking #leteiped #leteiping #teipa #teipatheking #teipastales #teipaslomon #teipassingolio #teipassongs #teipaslyrics #vampk254music #vampk254 #vampk #lyricklyelevated #maasaininja #themaasaininja

Tuesday, 23 November 2021

THE MAASAI NINJA (Episode 1)

THE MAASAI NINJA 
(Episode1)
Sijui Kama mshawahi watch hii movie inaitwa Karate kid? As a child, I think it was among my favourites. Watched it almost hundred times trying to learn a few skills zakufunza Wanaume shuleni adabu. I need to set one thing clear first, Am not a violent person, I actually hate and fear fighting. Heri mseme Niko muoga. The last time I actually tried fighting karibu nikufe wasee wakisema acheni waheshimiane. But as a child you can understand the peer pressure to prove you are stronger than others, Was actually very small in size so I had to endure bullying cases from pupils in lower classes than me. That made me feel kinda angry with myself for failing to protect myself. 
So I decided I will first watch, Niobserve, nitake notes alafu nianze practice mathe akiwa ameende job. My training actually was brief but efficient. Jayden smith was forced to have a very important basic routine which according to Jacky chan, creates the basis of martial arts. If you have watched the movie you already know the routine. Romove your jacket, Drop it, Pick it up, Hung it.Then repeat. 
Baaas. So I don't even need to weight lift, or undergo intensive training. Aaah, there is no need to observe and take notes. I actually ended up begining the training the first day skipping the two tiresome sections of observing and taking notes. Actually after kumaliza training first days I swear my biceps grew kinda stronger and slightly bigger. I actually felt like some sort of martial arts expert. In my mind, nilikuwa nishaanza kuimagine vile ntacharaza vijana wanne mara Moja ndo nisichoke saana. If I fight four strong guys at once, no one will dare kuingililia Teipa chung Hwang. (That was the name I gave myself ya vita. Niliskia ukijifunza vita za China unapewa jina ya huko ndo hiyo spirit ya vita ikuingie.) 
It actually worked, the spirit was already in me. Guess why? That night I had a two weeks training with Jacky chan himself kwa ndoto. According to him, One night ni kama one month kwa ndoto. Asubuhi niliamka na appetite ya ndovu. Mathe kuniuliza nikasmile tu. Kwa roho najua Kuna watu wataimba laleiyo ni Ile beating ntawapea...... (to be continued)
#leteipatheking #leteiped #leteiping #teipa #teipatheking #teipastales #teipaslomon #teipassingolio #teipassongs #teipaslyrics #vampk254music #vampk254 #vampk #lyricklyelevated #maasaininja #themaasaininja

Sunday, 26 September 2021

BORN PERFECT (Episode 3)

 #BornPerfecfEssay #Episode2

As she was speaking, all I could hear were mumbling and snobs. Funny enough I still understood everything. Now I want to explain one thing. Am not a bad person, I actually consider my self gentle and caring. As harmless as a blind lamb. So don't judge me at any point. All thought of was the so called boy friend. I didn't know him at a personally level, but I had an ugly image of him in my mind. A scary face with disorganized teeth. Horns and blood shot eyes. That should be the proper appearance of an individual evil enough to harm a helpless person all in the name of love.

How I wish i could meet this dude like right now, I wouldn't even need a weapon to express my disappointment. I felt like my fingers would be enough to provide a proper punishment for him. For starters I would curve the entire secondary syllabus on his face. Or just use the Sandawe punishment for thieves. Have you heard of it. They have a perfect lifetime torture. If someone I caught stealing, be it a guy or lady, they are stripped naked and forced to bend over. Then using a sharp knife, they draw two parallel lines On the thieves buttocks. Am told the only way to treat such a wound is by staying on a straight posture for a year. So no sitting down, no toilet, no bending, no squating for 365 days. that would be a perfect revange. 

I messed up everything when I tried to convince her to file a case against the guy. Damn the helpless sad character turned to something else entirely. A character that scared the hell out of me. She shouted at me cruelly and threatened to kill me if I dare mention such a evil idea. "Wewe kwanza ulidate mwisho lini?? Hebu usiingilie mambo ya wapendanao" she shouted . " If you tell anyone about this forget about our friendship" 

At this point, I was definitely confused . Am not even sure how I can describe the feeling, angered at the Lucifer morningstar for hurting my friend, Filled with revange desires, Shocked at her reaction trying to sugarcoat the evil act with love and at the same time scared to loose a friend. I stood up weakly not sure what to do. I stared at her angry face scary enough to chase rats away from a kitchen. I didn't even realize I was moving towards the door. I don't know how I opened it. All I remember  is finding myself at home on my bed sleeping, still angry though. 

Now I have a question for you. What would you have done if you were in my shoe. Would you quench your evil desires for revange and make a move on the so called boyfriend and loose a friend in the process or would you pretend nothing had happened and mind your own business to please her??

#bornperfect #leteipinggbv #leteipingdomesticviolence #leteipinggenderbasedviolence #TeipasSingolio #teipastales #teipaslomon #teipassongs #leteipatheking #vampk254music #kuntakinte #leteiped #leteiping


Saturday, 11 September 2021

BORN PERFECT (Episode 2)

#BornperfectEssay #Episode 2
We were both too emotional to even notice how fast time was moving.I held her tightly trying to calm her down, but she ended up even crying more. I could feel drops of warm tears hitting my back and slowly wetting my cheap tshirt.I tried pulling away from the hug but she didn't want to let go. I usually consider myself a hardcore, that is actually how we were raised.with the famous African quote 'any man who sheds tears publicly is not fit to own a household." But at this point, I couldn't hold my emotions anymore so like two helpless infants we held each other helplessly hoping that one of us would get the strength to start a conversation.
" What happened " I asked caringly as I carefully tried to free myself from her warm tight grip.she tried speaking but ended up crying, It was as if my question had triggered even more emotions, so we had to return to our helpless routine of a cuddle like hug with tears. We were jacked back to reality by a loud ringing of my phone.An alarm had come to my rescue. We gained our postures and started the long sad conversation. 
So the so called boyfriend always felt insecure whenever she had a conversation with other guys. It's funny how abrupt he had changed from a caring romantic, gentleman into a jealous, angry and rude homongoloid. Always shouting at her and blaming her for being unfaithful.At first she felt loved coz she believed all the reaction was out of love, but when he grabbed her phone while she was speaking to her uncle and smashed it on the floor she realized something was wrong. She tried being the humble girlfriend and explain to him that she had no intentions of playing him but ended up receiving insults. "Malaya wewe! Unafikria mi ni mshamba wa wap? Kila mwanaume duniani ni either rafiki ama family member wenu. Hata adabu huna. " She mimicked his abuses. As humble as she was, she cried her self out the whole night not knowing what to do. The next morning, he apologized and even took her for lunch, he blamed the devil for his awckward behavior and promised never to repeat the ugly mistake again.That became the routine of their relationship, one minute he is a beast shouting at her and threatening to beat her up, and the next minute he is so gentle with apologies and romantic gestures. 
"And yet you still loved him enough to stay," I asked her in disbelief. No offense but I couldn't really understand this algorithm, Am obviously comparing the situation with a chemistry lesson, I understand everything when the teacher explains but when I try to think of what I have learnt all I can remember is my humble request. "Excuse me teacher, may I go to the toilet??" She stared at me blankly and nodded her head in approval. ........(To be continued)
#Teipastales #bonrperfect #leteipingGBV #LeteipingGenderBasedViolence #leteipingDomesticviolence
#LeteipatheKing #Leteipa #VampK254Music #VampK254 #VampK #Vamp #Teipa #TeipasLomon #TeipasLyrics #TeipasSingolio #TeipasTales #KenyanMusic #254Flow #SwahiliFlavour

Tuesday, 7 September 2021

BORN PERFECT (Episode 1)

#BornperfectEssay #episode1 
All I could think of was her voice and how sad she sounded. She couldn't even complete two words without crying. I just wished I could meet this so called boyfriend at that point, maybe I would share some few life's kills with him just to ensure he understands how to interact with other people in this planet. The saddest part was, it wasn't really the first time, but according to her, this time it was bad, and she needed someone to talk to. 
I had to take a motorbike depsite being in my exercise week, I couldn't manage a walk, I might end up burning anyone blocking my way all through. Now,.am sure you are wondering who the hell is he to me to trigger such anger. Some of you are actually thinking of some obvious myths or misconception, 'Mtu hulisha anapo kula.' That's a big lie, she was just a friend and actually a very good one if I may mention. 
Anyways lets just dive into the proceedings rather than focusing on the latter coz am sure some are still doubting that. 
I got to her place and smashed the door worriedly without even knocking the door. And there she was, the cute smooth baby face nor resembling the outer part of a pineapple. Her eyes so red and scary and a horrible big scar on the head like she had been smashed into a sharp object. Blood was still oozing from her mouth and and face. 
Tears of pain rolled down her cosy cheeks, I felt like I had worsened the situation by just coming to see her. Tried to speak but my voice was definitely in planet Pluto seeking proper abuses and rumblings to humbly present to the evil zumby that had caused all this pain to such a joyous soul. The energy I felt while coming was nowhere to be found, I moved sadly towards her like a gulty child trying to convince a parent not to punish them. She wanted to say something but ended up crying as I cuddled her trying to calm her down. All I could think of was how tantalizing the mudder am about to commit would appear. "I will definitely tie this helpless mammal on a tree, Chop off his finger nails, Skin him alive, cut off his stomach and prepare a delicious stew with his intestines which I will feed him as we discuss how am going to punish him"...…. To be continued
#teipastales #bornperfect #crownlessqueen #antidomesticviolence

THE MAASAI NINJA (Episode 4)

THE MAASAI NINJA  (Episode 4) I spent the rest of the day regretting my mistakes, I felt offended, I felt angry and ready to fight, but deep...